Why is everybody complaining about global warming? Ephman's not saying here that we should be smogging up our air. Come on Ephman wants to breath nice clean air as much as the next blogger does. But there's always two sides to every coin. And so there must be another story here about this whole global warming thing. See Ephman grew up in the snowy climes of the Great White North. So on some level he doesn't really see what's so awful about this. He has no real opinion if the climate is actually getting warmer from human action. Ephman can tell you and that there's totally less snow in the winter. He remembers building tons of snow forts. No more snow forts. But there must be some benefits to global warming as opposed to “it's the end of humanity”. Cause that finality thing ain't so much fun. So here's the top 10 reasons global warming might not be such a bad thing.

No More Polar Bear Infestations

Polar Bears eat people. Maybe not everyday but a Polar Bear HAS eaten a person. They get hungry you know. And now since their habitat is being even more encroached on by humans, they go into garbage dumps and make a mess of things. You can't train a Polar Bear to keep away from the garbage bag like you can train a puppy. Plus Polar Bears eat seals. Clubbing baby seals with baseball bat laden with spikes is a huge hobby. It's a lot more popular then you think.
 

Save Lives On The High Seas

Yes. That is true. Just think about how many lives have been lost from iceberg popping up out of nowhere and killing everybody on a boat. Remember the movie Titanic? It was awesome that they crashed that huge boat into an iceberg with all those people on it just to film a movie. But 1517 had to die to make that scene. Only 706 people survived the filming of that scene. Did you see the way that guy fell and hit that thing on the way down, and how we starting spinning around. That hurt. And anyways who can trust something that's majority of it's body it hidden anyways. What's those pesky icebergs doing down there? What like 2/3 is under the water? It's not like they'll be missed much.
 

Remember The Movie Waterworld?

So the movie sucked, and it reminded everybody of Mad Max Beyond The Thunderdome. Whatever the movie sucked so bad. But if you remember there were some cool things about having a world of water. That Waver Ripper Mariner had was wicked. So our water vehicle technology will start to be super awesome. Catamarans will be able to go 120 knots. We'll evolve to have those cool webfeet, and gills. Yeah, getting gills would be really useful. Just like amphibians. Nice.
 

More Food To Feed Our Faces

Yep. Think about it. Canada will have a longer growing season for wheat. Which in turn will allow Mc Donald's to bake more hamburger buns. The cows will have more food to eat so they'll get way way fatter. Which will in turn help make for better tasting Mc Donald's hamburger patties. Bigger is better right?
 

More Stuff To Dig Out Of The Ground

Just think about all that gold, diamonds, and oil that's under all that ice. We'll all be rich. After the ice melts you know 100% that all these mega-global corps are totally going to go after it. They're already fighting about the borders in the Arctic. And who knows what's under the Antarctic. Maybe there's some new kind of material that we can dig up and make even MORE money from. That would be awesome. Global warming could potentially solve our global poverty problem.
 

The World Would Be A Safer Place

The cold kills. According to the CDC between 1979 and 2002 there were 16,555 deaths due to the cold. That's 16,555 people that could have gone on to cure cancer, or even better finally invent that flying car we've all been promised. Then think about all the snowboarding, skiing and tobogganing accidents that happen every single day on this planet. Little kids breaking their necks, arms, and tail bones. All because of gravity and a thin melted layer of water. Ephman's not advocating getting rid of gravity, that would be just crazy.

A lot of people just think about the negative sides to issues. Not Ephman. He keeps telling me to look on the sunny side of life. And global warming is that sunny side of life.

Disclaimer: Ephman does not support nor endorse smogging up our air however....

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