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Why does nobody come to my blog? See it's sort of embarrassing that Ephman writes all this stuff and only like 30 people a day come by to say hi. Is he that bad a writer? Are the topics super boring and suck? Come on global warming is like a friend with benefits is not genius? Or the top 10 Tiger Woods videos? Nobody wants that stuff? Now this just sounds like a massive whining story. Not!!! He goes to all the usual "how to blog"sites like problogger.com, who seems like a nice enough bloke. johnchow.com good site, just makes Ephman want to go into an anaphylactic seizure. And he totally follows their tips:
1. Blog on a regular basis - almost every day he blogs something
2. Engage with your readers - always emails or comments back to readers
3. Use a nice template - take a look around those are nice pictures right?
4. Write with a unique voice - nobody sounds like Ephman
5. And be original - that's Ephman's middle name
Is Ephman missing something? He does all those thing!!!
Thank God Ephman doesn't blog for a living. That's what Wall Street's for. Could you imagine in seven months blogging he's made close to $9.09, a lousy nine dollars. He doesn't even blog for himself. Ephman blogs for charity. So this is my New Year's blogging resolution.
1. Blog more actually started in already with my RSS daily review
2. Slip Ephman.com into every conversation. Whether it's appropriate or not. Actually, especially if it's an inappropriate situation
3. Be mean. Yes mean ass blogging. Just hijack every post and make a comment with my link
4. Plaster NYC with his QR code for his mobile blog, and with his website domain. Until he gets arrested
5. Maybe increase its ad words keyword by up a little but not much because Ephman can be cheap
6. Maybe try to use spellcheck every once in a while
7. Become a CNN iReporter. Maybe that will help?
8. Go to the gym more... hey wait that's not supposed to be there
For a blogger that's being to Blog World twice, you'd think you'd get more traffic? Maybe he just needs a few nudie pictures on his blog? No matter what Ephman blogs for Ephman at the end of the day. That's why this blog has a zero theme policy to it. Whether it anime, Broadway, obscure rock 'n roll bands and messed up observations of life. If it gets into Ephman's mind he blogs it.